Translation
by Treskttn
Summary: Wes and David offer Kurt and Blaine their assistance in the language of love. Used to be Gummy Bears now a series of oneshots. Klaine
1. Gummy Bears

**Good day fellow Gleeks. This is my second Glee fic. So read, review, enjoy. Oh, and Happy Easter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. or the cute StarKid reference**

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><p>David, Wes, and Blaine sat in the senior common room. It wasn't much really, nothing special. Blaine sat on the couch, eating gummy bears, as the other two argued over sports. Blaine decided to stay out of it, because it was clear that the Buckeyes were obviously the best. He pulled out one of the mini bears and popped it in his mouth.<p>

"Did you see that touchdown last night?" Wes asked, supporting facts for his side of the argument. "They were _unstoppable_!"

David frowned. "They were _lucky."_

The doors opened to reveal Kurt, though he wasn't wearing his uniform as the other boys were. He was donned in a pair of grey skinny jeans and a black top under a vest, his signature scarf snaked around his neck. He held two cups of coffee. He smiled, and Blaine could have sworn he lit up the room.

"Hey, Kurt!" Blaine smiled, "Come take a seat."

Kurt walked over to Blaine, deciding to sit across from him. He caught a glance at Blaine's snack and held back his disgust. He then held out Blaine's coffee. Blaine took it graciously, and offered his snack in return.

"Gummy bear?"

Kurt snorted. "No, thanks. Do you know how bad they are for you?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "No."

Kurt smirked. "Then allow me to enlighten you. I'm sure they do all sorts of weird things to your digestive system, your teeth, and not to mention that you could be eating an apple instead and get just about as much of a caffeine boost as that coffee."

Blaine seemed slightly impressed. "You did your gummy research."

"Well, it doesn't take research. You can't find those in nature. I mean, those can't be healthy at all."

Blaine gave him a smug look. He took a green bear from the bag and held it in front of him. "I'm not sure about you, but I think that bears _do _in fact live in the wild. Right in forests, actually. So technically they can be found in nature."

Kurt smiled, locking his blue eyes on Blaine's cocoa ones. "Well, then why pay for those mini bears when you can take a bite out of one of those bears in the wild?"

Blaine chuckled, and then held the green bear out to him. "You want it?"

Kurt sighed. Obviously, his friend wasn't getting the point. "No, thank you. I'm trying to take care of my body, and those can't be good for you."

Blaine gave a cocky grin. "Kurt, one gummy bear isn't going to make you gain ten pounds. I'm sure that even _after _this gummy bear, you'll still fit in those amazingly tight jeans. Besides, I'm sure those jeans are _just_ as bad for you, cutting off your circulation like that." Blaine took a moment to look over Kurt's body. _Damn, there is nothing better than Kurt in tight jeans._ "But, don't stop wearing them. I like them."

Kurt blushed, crossing his legs. "Why, thank you."

"Ok good. Now take the gummy bear you loser." Blaine joked, leaning over and placing it in Kurt's mouth for him, Kurt turning redder as the moments passed.

Wes decided to speak up. "Ok, number one: ew. Number two: Can you two just kiss already?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Or get a room," David suggested. He and Wes then proceeded to fist-pound.

Kurt decided to speak up, kind of upset that they ruined the moment. "What are you talking about? We're just talking."

"And eating gummy bears." Blaine added, chewing on another one.

Wes answered, "Okay, let me break it down for you. Dave and I," He threw an arm around David, "Speak the language of love."

"Italian?" Kurt asked.

"No, Spanish." David corrected.

Wes narrowed his eyes and slapped David upside the head. "No. Come on, David, we'll translate everything that has happened so far." Wes walked over and snatched Blaine's gummy bears away, deciding he'd take the role of Blaine.

"Hey, Kurt. Here have a gummy bear… and chew it reeeal slow." Wes winked, holding a gummy bear out to David.

David put on a face of mock-sadness. "Blaine! What are you doing? I care about your health and if you eat too many gummy bears, you'll be too big to sit on my lap! Not to mention you'll be too heavy to be on top…"

Wes smirked. "I think we should get really wild, like two bears in the woods."

"No, I may get dirt on my skinny jeans. And you must stop this unhealthy way of eating! You won't fit in your hot tight-fitting trousers! I mean, your butt looks so nice in them…"

Wes giggled. "Well, Kurt. You look so super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot in your skinny jeans. In fact, I think that you SHOULD eat some so they'll get too tight and you'll have to take them off."

"Oh, Blaine! Feed me!"

"Anything for you, Kurt. Actually, I just wish you'd kiss me, but I can't stop staring at that guy, Wes, because he's so freaking attractive!" Wes finished with a bow, taking a gummy bear and handing the rest of the bag to David. The four of them laughed, knowing they were just kidding around, though part of them was serious.

Blaine chuckled. "That's not at all how it went!"

"Okay, maybe not." Wes agreed. "But at least that's how it _should_ have gone. And don't say you weren't thinking it. I think that was a perfect and legitimate translation."

David high-fived him and then the two sat on the couch, eating the rest of Blaine's gummy bears, and handing the last to Kurt.

"Okay, well we're heading off to the Lima Bean. You two love-birds coming?" David asked, standing and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Wes followed suit.

"Nah, you two head off, we'll be there in a second."

David nodded to Wes with a wink, knowing that Blaine wanted to be alone with Kurt. The two shuffled out.

Kurt smirked, holding the red bear in front of himself. "Those two are idiots." He laughed.

Blaine laughed along with him. He watched Kurt as he stuck the last gummy bear in his mouth. He watched Kurt's soft lips engulf the gummy treat, and realization hit him.

"Maybe they were right…" Blaine whispered.

"Huh?"

Before Kurt had time to say anything else, his lips were silenced by Blaine's. He was surprised when Blaine dipped his tongue into his mouth, but let him gain entrance anyways. He took this time to run his hand through Blaine's hair, stopping at the neck where his hand decided to rest. Blaine's tongue explored Kurt's mouth for a moment longer, until deciding to retreat and pull away.

Kurt and Blaine stared intensely at each other, looking for the words that so desperately needed to be said. Blaine was the first to speak up.

"You taste like gummy bears."

Kurt blushed once more, not exactly sure how to answer that. His grin grew from ear to ear. He then spoke to himself under his breath. "Thank you, Wes and David."

"What was that?" Blaine asked, trying to decipher his words.

"Nothing. I said let's go meet Wes and David." He stood and grabbed Blaine's hand, pulling him off the couch and out the door.

"Told you gummy bears can be good for you."


	2. French

"Don't be stupid, Wes. This is obviously Marc Jacob NOT Calvin Klein." Kurt tightened the black scarf that was hanging around his neck. "Right Blaine?"

Blaine looked up from his blackberry, completely lost in the situation seeing as he was tracking the Buckeye's game on his phone. "Uh, yea. Totally."

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes. "You boys and your technology." He took a seat on the couch. They four of them, Kurt, Blaine, Wes, and David, were in the Senior Commons. Blaine was there just because that's where his friends were, Wes and David were copying off of each other's homework, and Kurt was just hanging around with his friends like always.

"That's it!" David jumped up. "Are the answers online?"

"Possibly." Wes shrugged.

"That would be cheating." Blaine decided to step in and be the moral one.

David tried to defend himself. "Well, I've just been busy with the Warbler stuff. If _someone_, WES, didn't call for so much practice, WES, maybe I'd have time to, WES, do my homework…. WES!" David then tightened his tie attempting to look more serious. "Not to point fingers." He lifted his hand and subtly pointed at Wes.

"Well, Blaine is the one with most of the solos…" Kurt put himself in the conversation. "And he really doesn't need much practice…" He smiled then looked over to Blaine to see he wasn't paying attention. "Right Blaine?"

"Yeah." Blaine took his headphones out, deciding to start paying attention.

"See?"

It was Wes' turn to roll his eyes. "Yes, because everything that Blaine says is infallible."

"Infallible? Do you even know what that means?" Blaine spoke up, a sarcastic look on his face. He and David then decided it was an appropriate time to fist-pound.

Kurt gave him that you-stupid-boys look, and then decided to grab David's homework to see what he was doing. "David… we've been here for an hour. The reason you're not getting anything done is because you've been doodling." Kurt displayed the picture to the others. Blaine immediately snatched the paper from his hands.

"David? Is this a picture of me with a French mustache? And a beret?" Blaine gave him a what-the-hell look and looked over the picture once more.

David snickered. "Well," he began to explain himself. "I only drew the mustache, the beret was all Wes." Wes laughed and high-fived David.

Kurt crossed his arms and shook his head in disapproval. "You two are honestly terrible."

Wes immediately snapped his head up to look at Kurt. "Us? _US?_ Have you seen you and Blaine?"

David chimed in. "Yea, you two are horrific."

Kurt was gaping. "What are you talking about?"

"You two are an old married couple- and you're not even dating yet!" Wes remarked.

"It's true." David agreed.

"Blaine, are you hearing this?" Kurt asked, laughing a bit.

Blaine was sitting on the floor, headphones in, listening to the game. He paid no mind.

Kurt just rolled his eyes once more then turned back to Wes. "Fine, then. Elaborate."

Wes gave a wide smile. "I was hoping you'd say that. Ok, I'll be Kurt this time, Dave-"

David sighed. "I wanted to be Kurt!"

"No, you're Blaine!"

"Ugh, fine." David went over to Blaine and swiped the cellphone out of his hands.

Wes put on a phony smile and flipped his hair. "Uhm, Blaine! I walked in, and you forgot to tell me how good I'm looking today! I mean, I wore this Calvin Klein-"

"Marc Jacob," Kurt corrected.

Wes just kept on playing the role of Kurt. "scarf because I know how much you like it. Blaine? ... BLAINE?" Wes looked angry as he placed his hands on his hips, making a pouty face, talking in a teenaged girl voice.

"Huh?" David looked up from the phone. "Oh, sorry, Honey, I was stalking you on Facebook. Yea, whatever you say, I'm sure it's right. Nothing can be wrong when you're wearing _those_ jeans."

Wes gave a smile and uttered a small giggle. "Oh, Blaine! You're just so adorable and can do NOTHING wrong no matter what you're wearing. 'Cuz you look so amazing in EVERYTHING! Oh, and when you sing, I just want to jump on you and rip off all of your clothes and- BLAINE!" Wes snapped, noticing that David, as Blaine, was back to looking at the phone.

"What? Yeah whatever you say! Please don't be mad at me, Baby! Though… when you get mad you tend to get kind of rough… and I like it rough."

Wes smirked. "Whatever you want, Baby. Hold on, while I try to tease you by pretending to care more about what that hot Wes kid is doing with that weird guy, David." Wes reached over and picked up the picture of Blaine. "OH MY GOODNESS! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART!" He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "I've always fantasized about what you'd be like if you were French… Would you mind sharing your Croissant?" Wes gave a wink.

David snatched the picture. "Sorry, Kurt. You can't have this. It's too beautiful; you must avert your eyes from my beauty! Thank you, David, for this wonderful piece of art! You are a god, David, A GOD!"

David and Wes then bowed and applauded themselves. Kurt and Blaine just watched with raised eyebrows.

"That's not what happened…" Blaine commented.

"No… but that's what we're going to tell people happened!" He and Wes high-fived then took off running with the picture of Blaine in tow.

"Those two are ignorant." Kurt gave an awkward chuckle. "Right, Blaine?" There was silence. Kurt turned to see that Blaine was back to his cellphone.


	3. Blaine Pizza

**_This one is personally, my FAVORITE chapter. tho i may just take these out of the story and make them all seperate oneshots because im not getting alot of reviews_**

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><p>Kurt sighed, looking down at his Prada watch. Blaine was now about twenty minutes late. Where could he be? Kurt sat with Wes and David at a small table in the Lima Bean, drinking coffee. Kurt glanced over to Blaine's cup, and then got more upset seeing as Blaine wasn't showing anytime soon. He tapped his foot impatiently.<p>

"He's late." Kurt remarked, sipping his coffee.

Wes spoke up. "Text him."

David grinned. "I know! I'll call him!" Kurt smiled; happy he wouldn't have to do it, seeing as he didn't want to bother Blaine. David sat there for a moment, a large smile as he held up the phone. They sat for a few moments, and then David finally spoke into the phone. "Hi, is Blaine there?... Papa Gino? No, I said I wanted to talk to BLAINE, not Papa Gino….. Pizza? No, I don't want pizza. I want BLAINE!... DAMN IT! I DON'T WANT PIZZA!" David hung up the phone and let out a few frustrated breathes.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

David sighed. "Some guy named 'Papa Gino' kept answering the phone trying to sell me pizza…"

Kurt sighed, realizing that David had called the pizza place 'Papa Gino's' on accident. Kurt gave a patient smile. "Think about what you just said for a moment, David…"

David thought about it for a minute, then his eyes widened. "OH MY GOSH! BLAINE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY PAPA GINO!"

Wes looked up, having been completely zoned out for a while. "Blaine's been kidnapped?"

"Yes!" David answered, beginning to get hysterical. "And they are making him into pizza! We've gotta help him!... Then try that pizza!"

Kurt calmed them, "Gentlemen! Sit down!" The two followed orders.

"But, Kurt! What if they eat him?" Wes asked.

Kurt glared. "Don't be stupid, though Blaine would probably taste delectable, that's not the point. He was not kidnapped, David dialed the wrong number."

David let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God! Here, I'll call him again…" David picked up his phone, dialed the number, and then held the phone to his ear. The moments ticked by, then he finally spoke again. "Papa Gino?... What'd you do with Blaine? Huh?"

Kurt snatched the phone from David and hung up. "Ok, enough of that. Here, Wes, you call him." He then handed the phone to Wes, seeing as Kurt didn't want to be the one to bother Blaine.

Wes dialed the number, and then waited patiently. Finally, he spoke. "Blaine?... Oh, hey dude! Where are ya?"

David shouted, "Ask him how he escaped from Papa Gino!"

Wes rolled his eyes and ignored David. Kurt then decided to chime in, "What'd he say?"

Wes smiled, "Oh, he said he can't compensate."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. How did that make any sense? "What? Compensate for what?"

Wes asked Blaine. "Oh!" Wes corrected himself, "Never mind, I heard wrong. He said he has to menstruate."

Kurt raised both eyebrows and threw his arms in the air. "WHAT?"

David laughed, "Would he like us to pick up some tampons?"

Wes asked Blaine. "OH!" Wes corrected himself again. "No, wait. He said that he has to check Kurt's weight."

Kurt gave an irritated look. "You never ask a guy his weight, that's rude."

David chuckled. "Yea! Totally food!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I said 'rude' not 'food', David."

David's eyes widened. "Food? Ask him if he can bring us some Blaine Pizza."

Wes asked him. "OH! OH! OH!" Wes corrected himself once more. "It all makes sense now."

Kurt gave a hopeful smile. "What'd he say?"

"He said," Wes answered, "that he has to _masturbate!"_

David snickered. "That would make any man late."

Kurt looked appalled. "Uhm… Are you sure you heard him right?" Kurt's eye began to twitch.

Wes began to ask him, but before he could finish, someone came behind him and closed the flip-phone he was using.

"No," Blaine said, sitting at the table. "What I said was, 'sorry I'm late'."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. "You are not forgiven. I had to stay with these two idiots."

David laughed. "Haha, Wes, he called you an idiot."

Wes rolled his eyes. "Okay, he called us both idiots…"

"Where's my Blaine Pizza?" David asked.

Kurt smirked. "Oh, how I'd love me a slice of that pizza…" He said, referring to the 'Blaine Pizza'.

Wes and David gaped at him, and Blaine gaped but mostly at the words 'Blaine Pizza'.

Kurt looked between the two then uttered a nervous laugh. "Did I say that out loud? Well, that's embarrassing."

Blaine just said, "Blaine Pizza?"

David smirked. "Kurt wants some."

"Some what?" Blaine asked.

"Blaine Pizza."

Kurt sighed, seeing another 'love translation' coming on.

"What's Blaine Pizza?" Blaine asked.

Wes smiled deviously. "I'm glad you asked…."

"Yes, because basically, what Kurt just said was, 'I wish Blaine would cut me a piece of some of that fine ass of his…" David explained.

Kurt turned red as he hid behind his Iphone. Blaine raised an eyebrow and waited for Kurt to explain. Kurt really couldn't explain this one, that was almost exactly what he had said. David and Wes finally got something right.

Though, to save face, Kurt attempted to explain. "All I said was that I wanted some pizza."

"Some delicious _Blaine_ pizza…" Wes snickered.

Blaine drank some of his coffee which was now cold. "Whatever. We'll go out for some '_Blaine'_ pizza later." He blew it off and continued on with his coffee.


	4. Dave Pizza?

**_This is not my favorite... it may get a tad confusing. i promise the next one will be better AND it will be more of David and Wes's love translations :)_**

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><p>"All I'm saying is…" Wes began, "Best is the superlative to 'good', not 'goodest'." Wes finished his small English lesson and continued to walk down the corridor with David and Kurt on his sides.<p>

David sighed, "Whatever. I'm gooder than you at English anyways."

Kurt slapped his face with his palm and shook his head at David's fail. "It's 'better', David."

David smiled, "See! Kurt agrees that I'm better too!"

Wes laughed. "Ok, Dave. Just be happy you can sing."

David just ignored them and kept walking. He began to wonder just when they decided he was stupid, but David knew he wasn't as stupid as they said, and he'd prove that one day. As for Wes, he had his smart moments, and he's had his blonde moments… even if he isn't blonde. Kurt was a matter-of-fact type of guy, he seemed smarter than others, but that may just be the way he speaks. As for Blaine… where was Blaine?

David was the first to notice his absence, and turned around a bit baffled at his loss. He scoped the hall, but no Blaine. He then turned to Wes.

"Hey, where's Blaine?"

Wes shrugged and turned to Kurt. "Where's your boyfriend?"

Kurt smiled at the 'boyfriend' reference. Sure, they weren't dating... but Kurt could dream, couldn't he? "I'm honestly not sure… Should I call him? He said he'd walk with us to the Lima Bean…"

Wes grinned. "I'll call him!"

"NO!" Kurt shouted. "Do you remember what happened last time you called him?"

Wes snickered. "Not my fault that he can't annunciate his words correctly…"

Kurt's eyebrows knit together. "How on earth did you hear 'menstruate' instead of 'sorry I'm late'?"

Wes shrugged once more. "It was an honest mistake… and it was HILARIOUS!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "It wasn't funny. Now, how about David? You call him."

Wes interjected. "Hey! He got us banned from Papa Gino's because he hassled them so much! Don't you think I should get to call Blaine if anyone?"

David seemed kind of crestfallen as he mumbled. "I can call Blaine…"

The two other boys didn't hear him.

"Ok, ok fine. You can call him, Wes." Kurt decided.

"Sweet!" Wes dialed his phone and waited patiently as it rang. Finally someone answered.

"Hey, Wes!" Blaine answered. "Sorry, I know I'm not there. I was ambushed by Sue Slyvester!"

Wes was intrigued, seeing as he had no idea who 'Sue' was. "Sue? …Is she hot?"

Blaine seemed disgusted. "Dude! She's old!"

"What? Like a MILF?" Wes asked, taking it into consideration.

Blaine laughed, wondering how Wes had no idea who Sue was. "Ew! No, Dude! Never. Trust me."

"Wait does this mean you're straight now?" Wes asked.

This caught Kurt's attention. "What? Who are you talking to, Wes? Not Blaine, right?"

"No, I'm not straight." Blaine answered.

"Yeah," Wes answered Kurt. "Blaine's straight now."

"Wait…" Blaine heard Wes answer Kurt. "Who are you talking to? You're not talking to Kurt right? Don't tell him that I'm straight! WES! I'M NOT STRAIGHT!" People walking by Blaine gave him odd looks.

David spoke up, "Can we get some Blaine Pizza?"

Kurt gasped. "He's straight? Let me talk to him!" Kurt wanted to remind Blaine of the last time he dated a girl, AKA Rachel, and how that went terribly wrong.

"No, Dude." Wes answered Kurt.

Blaine thought Wes was talking to him and began to get worked up. "Yes, Wes! I just told you, I'm gay!"

"Come on," Kurt spoke to Wes. "Let me talk to him."

"NO! I'm talking to him right now!" Wes answered.

Once more, Blaine thought Wes was speaking to him. "YES! DAMNIT! TELL HIM I'M GAY!"

Due to Blaine's pestering, Wes thought he'd pass on the message… though just like the day before, he heard it wrong. "Blaine says 'hey'."

Kurt was baffled. "Oh? Tell him I said 'hi'."

"Kurt says," Wes began, "That he thinks you're sexy."

Kurt gaped. "Wes! I didn't say that!"

David spoke again. "No, but that's what you meant."

Blaine answered, "Sexy? Well, that's random…" Blaine then got lost in his thoughts of Kurt, but decided he wouldn't flirt with Kurt through Wes. If he was to flirt with Kurt, he'd want to say it to Kurt himself.

Wes transferred the message to Kurt. "Blaine said he thinks you're gorgeous and would like to know if you would join him in the shower today."

Kurt was taken aback, but he smiled. It didn't really sound like Blaine… but he wanted to believe it, so he did.

"Really?" Kurt asked. "Tell him I said thank you, but I'll take a rain-check on the shower."

Wes smirked. "He said 'Thanks' and that he'll take a shower with you tomorrow."

Blaine was utterly shocked. Mostly confused, but shocked nonetheless. He was about to answer, but his phone beeped implying a new call.

"Hold on, I have another call…" Blaine switched to the other call.

"Hi, I'd like to order one Blaine Pizza and-"

Blaine interrupted him. "David?"

"Yeah." David answer. "BLAINE? OMG! Does Papa Gino's have you AGAIN?"

Hearing David screaming, Wes and Kurt looked over to see him on the phone.

Kurt decided to comment. "David, are you talking to Blaine?"

Then Blaine said, "Hold on, I'll three-way."

David translated this. "Kurt, Blaine said he wants to have a threesome."

Kurt gaped. "What? Give me the phone!" Kurt reached for the phone and snatched it. "Blaine?"

Blaine let out a sigh of relief. "Hey, Kurt. Hold on, I'm going to three-way." Blaine pressed a button on the phone to link all of the calls together. "Ok, hello?"

Wes and Kurt answered, "Hello."

Blaine went on, "As I was saying, I was stopped by Sue Slyvester, and that's why I am late."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, speaking into the phone. "What did she want?"

"Isn't that your girlfriend?" Wes asked.

Blaine sighed. "No, Sue is this woman who coached Vocal Adrenaline."

"You're banging the enemy's coach?" Wes gasped.

"NO! I'm not doing anything with her!" Blaine began to get frustrated. "Just forget it; I'm right down the hall." Blaine hung up the phone.

"Soo…" Wes talked into the phone to Kurt. Kurt just rolled his eyes and hung up. Wes looked over to Kurt who was still right next to him. "Dude, why'd you hang up on me?"

Kurt shook his head at Wes's ignorance. "I'm standing right next to you, why would I need a phone?"

"Hey, guys!" Blaine walked over to them. "Where's David?"

Kurt turned to see David was missing. "I don't know, but I have his cellphone."

Blaine's phone started to ring. He sighed but picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello there, Dapper-Young-Lad." The other person answered.

"Sue? What do you want?" Blaine asked.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you to come pick up your stupid Glee loser, David. He just attacked me, but it's okay. I corralled him and stored him in the trunk of my car." Sue smiled proudly.

"What? Let me talk to him." Blaine demanded.

The sound of her trunk opening was heard, and then David answered the phone. "Blaine?"

"David? What happened?"

"HE'S GOT ME! PAPA GINO'S GOTTEN ME!" David cried.

Sue yelled, "I'm a lady!"

"Mama Gino is kidnapping me!" David corrected.

Blaine sighed, "Just calm down, and give the phone back to 'Mama Gino'."

Sue spoke again. "Well?"

"Okay, we're coming to get him right now." Blaine hung up.

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"Where are we going?" Wes joined.

"We're going to pick up some 'Dave Pizza'." Blaine answered.

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><p><strong>DONT FORGET TO REVIEW... and favs for adding sue in? :D<strong>


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